While trying the last pair of jeans on, I was thinking to myself "what are you doing!? This is your calling to challenge yourself to get into the jeans you own! This is just rediculous Jen! Why buy anything new when you have a closet full of great clothes already? Challege yourself to reach a physical goal then take your self shopping for some new clothes!" And at that moment I saw myself writing in front of a computer on a blog about my challenge. There's so much to get out.
My entire life it seems I've struggled with my weight, with my physical identity; never being able to love the physical body I'm in.
There are stories after stories of wrong doings, low energy thoughts, poor parenting, lack of love for myself over and over and over like a looped tape in my head. I don't need to open up and write about all of those, but I would like to begin the process of replacing them. Adding to my new self identity that I've been working on since college.
So here is my rediscovery of myself.
I'm not taking it straight to action OR doing.
They say BE, DO, HAVE - I gotta BE it before I can DO it. :)
As I'm writing this I'm feeling a weight lifting, a freedom from all these thoughts I carry! It's as if this is writing itself from beyond.
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