May 6th was my 33rd birthday and five months after losing James.
We went to explore Descanso Gardens in La Canada. The gardens are amazingly beautiful and such a great way to spend a birthday. As we walked the grounds I noticed there was a butterfly flying around us. And As we walked farther, I kept seeing it - same color and everything. I said "Nel, see there he is again! I wonder why we're being followed" and Nel responded "honey, it's a garden I'm sure there's lots of butterflies." But I wasn't so sure.
On the back part of the Californian area, we stopped to take in the trees and a beautiful brown and white hawk landed in the tree above us. He sat, looking at us and we watched him with awe. We must have been there for 10 minutes until he flew to another tree. It's nice when you get a chance to observe nature like this.
Around the next bend in the path we noticed the butterfly again! It landed on a branch on a log in a path. As silly as it sounds, my intuition was telling me this could be James visiting us. I wandered up to check him out and he flew up around my head. I thought he was going to land on my hat! He settled on a branch just to my left about 6 feet high. Now Nel was coming up the path and we just stood there and stared at him. We got close but he did not fly away. We even talked to him and said "James, is that you?" and he put both his wings down as if to say yes. This moment was transcendental for us. We really felt like we were getting a rare glimpse into another realm. So we said "Okay James, we're going now you coming with us?" And as soon as we turned down the path he flew up above our heads following us.
This experience filled me up with so much love, that it carried me into Mother's day two days later.
Thank you James for your presence.
We are learning so much from you.
Love, Mom & Dad
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Day 6 - Juice Fast
Today was amazing.
We woke up and weighed ourselves. Nelly is at: 230 and me 277!
We got up in the morning feeling lighter and more energetic.
Nelly still was battling some headaches and tension, but an afternoon run at the park got us sweating and feeling amazing. Sweating feels so good, especially when on the detox.
I made a soup today from the pulp of the veggies. It tasted to nice to have some hot veggie broth.
We are thrilled to be almost at the end of this. At least Nelly is, he's right now looking at pictures of hotdogs and pizza online - he likes to torture himself. But I have a feeling that once one us truly through a fast/detox, no cravings remain. I'm not the expert though and I always say, just follow your gut!
I on the other hand feel at the beginning of a journey and plan to continue along this road. I'd LOVE to see my weight get to 270 in the next 2 weeks. That would be epic for me....and then on to 240.
Thank you Joe Cross for making your movie.
We woke up and weighed ourselves. Nelly is at: 230 and me 277!
We got up in the morning feeling lighter and more energetic.
Nelly still was battling some headaches and tension, but an afternoon run at the park got us sweating and feeling amazing. Sweating feels so good, especially when on the detox.
I made a soup today from the pulp of the veggies. It tasted to nice to have some hot veggie broth.
We are thrilled to be almost at the end of this. At least Nelly is, he's right now looking at pictures of hotdogs and pizza online - he likes to torture himself. But I have a feeling that once one us truly through a fast/detox, no cravings remain. I'm not the expert though and I always say, just follow your gut!
I on the other hand feel at the beginning of a journey and plan to continue along this road. I'd LOVE to see my weight get to 270 in the next 2 weeks. That would be epic for me....and then on to 240.
Thank you Joe Cross for making your movie.
Day 5 - Juice Fast
Day 5, we really took a look at this fast and realized all the side effects that come with detoxing - coated tongue, weird taste in the mouth, feeling like needing to sweat out toxins, skin breakouts, skin itching, dizziness, headaches, nausea and feeling lightheaded.
However despite the side effects, I'm still feeling very clear minded. Nelly still has side effects going on and some headaches.
I went to dance class last night just to test my abilities on this fast. I got through 45 minutes of hard dancing before I started to feel light headed, dizzy and nauseous. It felt really good to get a workout in, and at the same time see what my limit was.
Almost to the end of our cleanse, and I feel like it's only just begun.
However despite the side effects, I'm still feeling very clear minded. Nelly still has side effects going on and some headaches.
I went to dance class last night just to test my abilities on this fast. I got through 45 minutes of hard dancing before I started to feel light headed, dizzy and nauseous. It felt really good to get a workout in, and at the same time see what my limit was.
Almost to the end of our cleanse, and I feel like it's only just begun.
Monday, August 8, 2011
Day 4 - Juice Fast
Day 4 we drank Beet, Carrot, Ginger & Lemon.
I am feeling great and have lots of energy. Nelly on the other hand had some big mood swings, cravings and headaches. And he almost broke down and ordered some Chinese soup last night. We've been experiencing bad breath, white coated tongues, dizziness, fuzzy heads, aches, skin itching, etc.
I went to see friends yesterday and listened to a program on the radio about food. At first I was going to turn it off since I thought it may bring on some cravings, however it turned out to be exactly what I needed. Three women conversed with book author Dayna Macy about her book "Ravenous - A food lovers journey from Obsession to freedom." Dayna took a year long journey to change her relationship to food. She met with farmers, butchers & food artisans to get herself to a place of freedom and balance with her food.
This is what I'm talking about!!! This is what I was looking for and here it is in a book already written up!? It was so fun listening to these women talk about what's in my head. What is your relationship with food? How can I be truly satisfied with so many choices around me? How can I maintain a healthy weight for my body yet not be obsessed with food?
I'm glad to be facing these questions during this reboot. It's allowing me time to reflect on my relationship with food and what it looks like from the outside.
I am feeling great and have lots of energy. Nelly on the other hand had some big mood swings, cravings and headaches. And he almost broke down and ordered some Chinese soup last night. We've been experiencing bad breath, white coated tongues, dizziness, fuzzy heads, aches, skin itching, etc.
I went to see friends yesterday and listened to a program on the radio about food. At first I was going to turn it off since I thought it may bring on some cravings, however it turned out to be exactly what I needed. Three women conversed with book author Dayna Macy about her book "Ravenous - A food lovers journey from Obsession to freedom." Dayna took a year long journey to change her relationship to food. She met with farmers, butchers & food artisans to get herself to a place of freedom and balance with her food.
This is what I'm talking about!!! This is what I was looking for and here it is in a book already written up!? It was so fun listening to these women talk about what's in my head. What is your relationship with food? How can I be truly satisfied with so many choices around me? How can I maintain a healthy weight for my body yet not be obsessed with food?
I'm glad to be facing these questions during this reboot. It's allowing me time to reflect on my relationship with food and what it looks like from the outside.
Saturday, August 6, 2011
Day 3 - Juice Fast
Day 3 was good!! Some of the food cravings continued for us both and they seem to come on around 4pm-7pm (dinner time). I have good energy and feel freed from the bondage food can bring. We discussed how much of our life revolves around food!! It's refreshing for me to not have to cook and worry or stress or think about food. I can see this fast rebooting not only my body, but also my beliefs. We are re-teaching ourselves how to enjoy life outside of meals. : )
Poor Nelly had another hard day. His head was fuzzy again, headaches from caffeine withdrawal and no food. Onward and upward, I have a feeling that he will get off the fast sooner than I, so I've got to think about what it would be like to live in a home with one of us fasting and the other eating...insanity perhaps!?!? haha
Poor Nelly had another hard day. His head was fuzzy again, headaches from caffeine withdrawal and no food. Onward and upward, I have a feeling that he will get off the fast sooner than I, so I've got to think about what it would be like to live in a home with one of us fasting and the other eating...insanity perhaps!?!? haha
Friday, August 5, 2011
Juice Fast Day 2
As I opened my eyes from deep restful sleep, my energy came rushing in with emotions of excitement for day 2 - I must be crazy, but this fast fits me like a glove.
Last night we were craving food, so we wrote down everything we would eat if put in front of us:
Jenny - Teryaki Chicken with rice, Burger, Fries, Thai Food (esp. Phad Thai), Chips, Hummus, Ice Cream, BBQ & Chocolate Covered Almonds.
Nelly - Chick-Fil-A, Joe Peeps, Fried Chicken, KFC Chicken, Del Taco, Chicken Parm from Chi Chi's, Indian, Chinese, Seafood - "you could put anything in front of me right now and I'd eat it, even a slop bucket!" Nel says. His stomach was growling!
I think we did pretty well for the first day. I had lost 5 pounds previous to this fast by counting my calories for the 10 days prior. Yay me. And I had amazing energy yesterday afternoon and evening! I wanted a project, something physical - I have not felt that energetic in years.
Nelson weighed himself today and he is 5 pounds down. He's truly amazed by this. We think it's his metabolism and body getting rid of junk! I think I'm down at least 1 pound.
Today I have an immense amount of energy and my mind is crystal clear. I'm thinking, why didn't I do this sooner!?
Yesterday's diet: 4 glasses of mean green for Nel and 3 for me. We both had a small glass of pure orange juice and a cup of tea.
Day 2: Nelly - 235, Jenny - 283
Note: This fast is not just about weight loss. This is a spiritual cleanse, a physical cleanse - an overall reboot.
Last night we were craving food, so we wrote down everything we would eat if put in front of us:
Jenny - Teryaki Chicken with rice, Burger, Fries, Thai Food (esp. Phad Thai), Chips, Hummus, Ice Cream, BBQ & Chocolate Covered Almonds.
Nelly - Chick-Fil-A, Joe Peeps, Fried Chicken, KFC Chicken, Del Taco, Chicken Parm from Chi Chi's, Indian, Chinese, Seafood - "you could put anything in front of me right now and I'd eat it, even a slop bucket!" Nel says. His stomach was growling!
I think we did pretty well for the first day. I had lost 5 pounds previous to this fast by counting my calories for the 10 days prior. Yay me. And I had amazing energy yesterday afternoon and evening! I wanted a project, something physical - I have not felt that energetic in years.
Nelson weighed himself today and he is 5 pounds down. He's truly amazed by this. We think it's his metabolism and body getting rid of junk! I think I'm down at least 1 pound.
Today I have an immense amount of energy and my mind is crystal clear. I'm thinking, why didn't I do this sooner!?
Yesterday's diet: 4 glasses of mean green for Nel and 3 for me. We both had a small glass of pure orange juice and a cup of tea.
Day 2: Nelly - 235, Jenny - 283
Note: This fast is not just about weight loss. This is a spiritual cleanse, a physical cleanse - an overall reboot.
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Fat, sick and nearly dead
There is a wonderful documentary out there on Netflix called "Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead." It portrays Australian business man Joe Cross' 60 day juice fast adventure to health as he drives across the United States from New York to San Diego. Joe suffers from an autoimmune disorder and has vowed (with the approval from his doctor) to do a 60 day vegetable/fruit juice fast.
Along the way, he loses roughly 70 pounds and gains new insight into his health. In Winslow, Arizona he met Phil. As a truck driver, Phil's diet consists of mostly fast food. It happens to be that 429 pound Phil suffers from the same problem Joe is, so Phil decides he wants to change his life and tries the fast with Joe's guidance. Consulting his doctor along the way, Phil went the entire 60 days and lost roughly 150 pounds. He quit truck driving and now works in his community helping others get healthy.
This movie inspired Nelson and I so much, that we decided to try and 7 day juice fast ourselves! We are a bit fat, not sick at all and not nearly dead. We've been juicing for about 2 years as a supplement to our diet, but this is new territory for us both.
Today marks day 1 - Went to Vons (Safeway) and bought $103 worth of vegetables and fruits for 3-4 days worth. Today we are juicing the "Mean Green Monkey." 8 bulks of kale, 4 bulks of celery, 8 cucumbers, 10 granny smith apples, 3 lemons and ginger root.
We are feeling excited and a bit anxious! We hid all food and tossed any remnants of food so we're not tempted. We will distract ourselves with going to the park, watching TV, writing and music. Weight today, Nelson: 240 - Jennifer: 285
Day 1 begins...
Along the way, he loses roughly 70 pounds and gains new insight into his health. In Winslow, Arizona he met Phil. As a truck driver, Phil's diet consists of mostly fast food. It happens to be that 429 pound Phil suffers from the same problem Joe is, so Phil decides he wants to change his life and tries the fast with Joe's guidance. Consulting his doctor along the way, Phil went the entire 60 days and lost roughly 150 pounds. He quit truck driving and now works in his community helping others get healthy.
This movie inspired Nelson and I so much, that we decided to try and 7 day juice fast ourselves! We are a bit fat, not sick at all and not nearly dead. We've been juicing for about 2 years as a supplement to our diet, but this is new territory for us both.
Today marks day 1 - Went to Vons (Safeway) and bought $103 worth of vegetables and fruits for 3-4 days worth. Today we are juicing the "Mean Green Monkey." 8 bulks of kale, 4 bulks of celery, 8 cucumbers, 10 granny smith apples, 3 lemons and ginger root.
We are feeling excited and a bit anxious! We hid all food and tossed any remnants of food so we're not tempted. We will distract ourselves with going to the park, watching TV, writing and music. Weight today, Nelson: 240 - Jennifer: 285
Day 1 begins...
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