Lessons

Today was another day at work. Trying to get through the day and take my mind of my loss when my friend Emily comes to my desk and says: "Anita's husband died last night."

Anita is a close friend I worked with and kept i touch with. She and I shared our insightful Yogi tea tags together and we still do via email. Anita is a sweet shy woman with the biggest heart and her life has been hard enough to last 10 lifetimes. In a recent email, Anita was telling me Tony's mom was in the hospital with pneumonia and they found that her cancer had returned. Before that I saw her for lunch soon after my son died and she was giving me an update on her sisters lung cancer. New Years even 2010, her beloved cat passed away and it was a very difficult thing for her to deal with. Back when we worked together I learned that she and Tony have been trying to have kids for about 3-4 years and that her parents were violently murdered when she was in her 20's. My GOD! HOW DOES ONE PERSON DEAL WITH ALL THAT? Anita doesn't complain at all either, she was content in her safe corner of life.

After hearing about Tony, I wonder if his hypertensive heart failure was induced by stress? Do we have too much going on these days in our lives? Did people keel over like this in the 1800's before cars, the internet, cell phones, electricity, stress? Do we need to seriously slow down? Perhaps we ought to stop saying yes to everything, doing things against our will and distracting ourselves with devices? Have we lost touch as a species?

Nothing is guaranteed in this life. Struggles like mine and Anita's are a fucking bitch. Life picks you up and drops you in a new location with familiar surroundings, but you know it's not your former life. So what are we mourning here? The loss of someone we loved? The loss of the life we once new? The life we hoped and dreamed would be our future? Cuz it's obviously not a fucking guarantee!!

All I do know is that it is our DUTY love all over the people in our life while they are here.